I slammed the garage door so hard it shook our wedding photos hanging on the wall behind me.
I silently seethed down the hall to our bedroom, where I could blow off some steam.
What!? He wants a break to pursue other relationships, after everything we’ve been through?! Who in the fuck does he think he is, Ross Gellar?! What husband says that to his wife of fifteen years?! What the actual fuck?!
Clearly, we had bigger fish to fry than that one time I sucked a stripper’s dick for fifteen seconds at my Bachelorette party fifteen years ago.
“Your wound is probably not your fault. But your healing is your responsibility.” — Anonymous
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a people-pleaser.
It probably has something to do with my childhood, but I don’t want to pull at that thread today. My codependency tendencies fully developed after I became a stay-at-home mom. Fast-forward into motherhood twelve years later and one year deep into divorcing my ex-husband — and here we are.
In the last year and a half, I’ve spent over two hundred dollars on a few new pairs of shoes for my kids. Because…
It’s an eye-opening experience to listen to other women vent about their divorce story and hear how it all went down. After twenty-four years of marriage (and two days after dropping their youngest son off at college), my friend’s Was-band declared,
“I don’t want to do this anymore. I want to be able to come and go as I please without having to answer to anyone (*ahem* you, my wife). I want my freedom. And I want a divorce.”
Unfortunately, her story is what inspired me to zoom out on my situation and quietly think to myself, at least…
I can’t think of a better way to introduce myself than to tell you what I’m wearing, the last ten songs I listened to on Spotify, what I had for dinner tonight, and what I did right before I ate that delectable dinner.
I needed to clear my head yesterday. So, about three intense loops around my neighborhood later — I got off my saddle, laid down in the grass, and exhaled.
It’s exactly what I needed at the moment, and I wanted to share that captured moment in time with all of you.
Mary Chang Story Writer, Dennett, pockett dessert, Penny Grubb, Ellie Jacobson, Allan Rae (alto), David Montgomery, Ching Ching, Pulpo Viejo, Pene Hodge, Diana Lotti, Susan Alison, Will Hull, Krystal Mossbarger, Olive Wilson, Ronald C. Flores-Gunkle, Cindy Shore Smith, Stephen Reed, Gustavo Mendez, Marie Jones, Brooke Kochel RN
My bladder was incredibly full the morning I snapped this photo. Unfortunately, my budget cabin wasn’t equipped with a bathroom (unless you count the disposable bags I used in the middle of the night — thank you, Amazon! And sorry — not sorry!), so I had to take a little stroll down the road to the campsite restrooms to relieve myself.
Hi, it’s me/you — but chunkier.
I had McDonald’s again today. I also glanced at my checking account history and added up $136 worth of fast food over the last month.
I know — I have to do better. But I don’t know how to.
I don’t know how to fuel my body with good when everything I valued is gone and the fire within me to care has died.
I don’t know how to stop missing my kids without sinking into the depths of despair and find myself in the McDonald’s drive-thru four days in a row.
Last weekend we were camping near the California wildfire areas. I stopped for gas (and ice) and saw this sign posted up at the front of the store. I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude when I read this sign, not only for the men and women who fight these roaring wildfires (whom I never want to take for granted) but also thankful for the reality check that everyone is battling blazes of their own. We are all trying to get to the other side, where it’s cooler, less intense, and we can breathe a little better.
This was the…
Grateful For Gorgeous Days Like Today.
Alright, I have another confession up my sleeve: I took this photo in January 2021, not September 2021. But it’s the first thing I thought of when I read Mary’s September Cloud Challenge. Aren’t those clouds out of this world? Don’t worry; I’ll submit a recent September cloud story shortly, but I had to share this one first!
I remember this day: the kids, some friends, and I were at a park trying to ease our lockdown lows. I was also ten months into my separation from my ex-husband and trying to find my…