February Myth Busters
“I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!” — Al Franken
I’m grasping at straws here, guys — on so many levels. If I don’t start laughing soon, I will start crying. Hence, my subtitle and being two months overdue on this Age of Empathy prompt. Nevertheless, here are three beliefs I claimed to be true in the month of February (with massive conviction if I do say so myself).
I am good enough.
It’s a cheesy cliche and too far-fetched for me to fathom five years ago. Five years ago, I was thirty-three and a stay-at-home parent with a seven and three-year-old in tow. And if I’m honest, I thought I would spend the rest of my life in paradise with my happy little family. A crushing transition to today, five years later, where I’m living with my parents, sharing a room with my eight-year-old daughter, and feel like I could collapse from the pain that radiates through my body all day long at any given moment. But all that aside, I’ve come to realize that I do have value in this world.
I am smart enough.
Never in my thirty-eight years of life have I maintained a higher grade than a low “C” in high school. Today, I walked out of my last two medical training classes with straight A’s, and I’m currently reaching for the stars again for the third time. Here’s the thing — I’m pissed. I spent my entire adult life loving the crap out of a man who I was never going to be good enough for. I spent the last eleven years holding myself to the highest standards of motherhood, all for it (my marriage and family) to come crumbling down on my face fifteen years later. As I said, I’m pissed. I’m doing me now, maybe for the first time in my life, and I like it — a lot.
And doggone it, people like me.
I’ll never be a writer — people don’t care about what I have to say.
I will never pass my medical classes — I barely graduated high school.
I will never be anything more than someone’s (ex)wife and my kids’ mother. I have no value if I’m not those things.
I will never be in good shape again.
I will never get my spark back.
I will never date again.
Those are some of the relentless thoughts running rampant through my brain. Holy crap, was I one hundred percent wrong?! I busted every single one of those limiting beliefs wide open this year. People are listening to what I have to say (Thank You), they are really hearing me. I am finally once again taking up space in this world. My Crossfit gym welcomed me back with wide-open arms, I’m passing my medical college courses at thirty-eight with flying colors, and I ain’t mad at my online dating matches so far.
I know confidence is quiet, and insecurity is loud, but I can’t help myself; I found my voice again. It would be safe to say that I love to hear myself talk (and write) and sing and play my guitar again. Every morning, or at least once a day when I pass by a mirror, I recite these words to myself: I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggone it, people like me.
Seriously, it’s working, guys.
I am starting to believe I am so much more than a nobody, and I deserve to be treated with love and respect.
Thank you for your love and support. You Are Loved. ❤
©2021 Divina Grey. All Rights Reserved.
Divina Grey is a ferocious woman and mother rebuilding her life one article at a time. She likes long walks on the beach, singing and playing her guitar, an electrifying workout, and a cup of coffee so decadent she can feel the frothiness in her bones. Over the last twenty-five years, Divina has stockpiled a collection of used journals in an elegant wooden chest and is oozing with gratitude for the chance to share her staggering long-time love of writing with the world.
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