How to Make a Sexual Bucket List That’s Less Risque than The Last

Photo by Hello I'm Nik 🎞 on Unsplash

I can’t keep it in any longer; I’m going through a divorce. But sexual bucket lists are no place for irreconcilable differences.

Three months ago, I published an original list that was incredibly raw and something I was damn proud of for having the courage to put out into the world.

That courage, however, was fleeting.

There may (or may not) have been ramblings of foreign threesomes (where no one speaks a lick of English), filthy sex with a woman, naked sushi, and reverse gang-bangs. But, again, I can neither confirm nor deny that.


Let’s switch gears into the newer lighter energy of my almost-singledom, with a touch of its filthiness still intact. Before we get started, I wanted to give a shout-out to J. Matthew Peabody for hitting me with some much-needed nostalgia this morning with his number six.

The List

Buy Brand New Sex Toys —I threw a whole garbage bag full of my old sex toys away today. Talk about liberating. If that’s not entertaining enough for you during this lockdown, I still had my first dildo in that box from when I was sixteen. It was time to let go. Off the top of my head, I’m thinking of a grab bag full of fancy ben wa balls and one of those luxurious suction cup dildos for a good time in the shower (to help me figure my life out).

Buy A Top Of The Line Razor — paired nicely with a hot lather dispenser for clean-shaven sweet spots (with or without a landing strip)

Rent A Hotel For The Night — and treat myself to a quiet night away from my parent's house with or without company, my laptop, and my new sex toys.

Buy Three Sets Of The Softest Pj's I Can Find — that feel like fluffy clouds rubbing against my nipples all night long.

Date Myself Until I Fall In Love With Her Again — before I go looking to fill that void elsewhere.

Sign Up For Dating Apps (Once I’m Officially Single)— and let my freak flag fly.

Build An Epic Skin Care Routine Again — like I love my skin and deserve good things.

Release The Toxins That Built Up In Me For Years — through working out like a motherfucker (again).

Get Something Pierced Again — my nipples, my clitoral hood, my tongue, my belly-button, my lip, and brow. Gawd, I miss that woman — and the rush of that needle going through my skin.

Those are the eight things currently on my to-do list, but never fear I’m brinin’ sexy back one sexual bucket list at a time!




Mom 💕| Writer ✍ | Musician 🤘🎸| CNA 💜 | Sporty Spice 🏋️‍♀️🚵‍♀️ | Free Spirit ✌🏳️‍🌈 | Coffee Connoisseur ☕ | Quora+ (and free hug) Contributor 🎉

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Mom 💕| Writer ✍ | Musician 🤘🎸| CNA 💜 | Sporty Spice 🏋️‍♀️🚵‍♀️ | Free Spirit ✌🏳️‍🌈 | Coffee Connoisseur ☕ | Quora+ (and free hug) Contributor 🎉