I Cheated On My Husband A Week Before We Got Married

Now what?

Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

A lot of shit running through my mind.

Too much.

I need an outlet.

Medium is my outlet.

I am also hyper-aware of how fragile both my husband and I are right now.

I don’t want to do any more damage than I already have.

I don’t think I could. I might as well write. I might as well make myself a fresh cup of coffee, hang my head and hands over the keyboard and just let it go.

Let it be what it’s going to be.

Fourteen years ago, on the night of my bachelorette party, I kissed the stripper and started to perform oral sex on him. Then, I stopped. I knew it was a huge mistake as soon as it happened. The biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life.

Ever.

I wish I never let that happen.

It did, and I’m sorry.

That night was sobering as fuck.

Disgusted (with myself), I stumbled and sobbed my way down the hall, out to the balcony where I lit a cigarette and bawled on my cousin’s shoulder.

UGH. FUUUUCK.