My morning was rough. An intense couples counseling session and a crappy cup of six-dollar coffee later only left me craving one thing.
A hug from my mom.
I’m thirty-seven, Mr. G and I are going through it, and all I wanted after that terrible cup of coffee was to seek refuge at my parent’s house.
I was scared. I didn’t know how to tell my parents I was having such a hard time, and that neither Mr. Grey and I was perfect.
I didn’t know how to blurt out to my mom and dad that I fooled around with the stripper at my bachelorette party, I’ve completely lost my sense of self, I’m co-dependent, exhausted from life and don’t know if Mr. Grey and I will ever be on the same page.
“D?” — “Are you okay?…D?”
“I’m okay. I’ll be alright. But marriage is HARD.”
They convinced me to come over for a hug. It wasn’t that hard. And Gawd, I’m so glad I did. This morning all I knew was Mr. Grey, and I are going through it. But I wasn’t even sure what it was until I visited my parents this afternoon.
Today turned out to be a pretty productive day.
My Mom and Dad were waiting at the door together teary-eyed, with a look on their faces like I couldn’t possibly make my way up their driveway fast enough so they could hug me and make sure I was okay.
We sat on the couch together, while I sipped the cup of exquisite coffee my dad made for me and talked about how difficult marriage and how backbreaking raising a family can be. We also touched on how hard it is to heal from our wounds. (and how my dad and I are still working through ours by playing guitar together.)
My mom hit it right on the nose when she said we're going through growing pains.
I realized Mr. G and I were in a major transition period.
It takes a lot of work. It’s quite a painful process. But anything is possible if it’s what you really want.
I got heaps of hugs and love from my parents today. I also figured out what the hell I was doing with my life. While I sat comfortably in my childhood home, absorbing the reliable energy my parents were illuminating, I heard my inner child's voice start to talk like a grown woman. I heard her talk about marriage life and kids, and realized exactly why I went to see my parents today.
Parents have a way of simplifying things for you no matter how old you are. When you’re so caught up, driving through a shit storm, and can’t see clearly, they will take a squeegee to your windshield, fill up your gas tank and send you back on your way in the right direction.
I want to save my marriage. (The tears and runny mascara was a good sign.) I’m doing the work. And so is Mr. G. That’s all I can really hope for right now. No, I don’t know what the future holds. I’d be lying if I said I did. But I think we’ll be okay if we keep putting in the work.
I couldn’t figure out where to put this part, so, it’s going to be a P.S. — Remember that your parents are people too, not just your mom and dad. They’ve made mistakes but will never stop helping us sort through ours.
Thank you for listening. ❤ D
Some other stories about parenting you may (or may not) be delighted to read:
The Bright Side To Having An Overprotective Parent With OCD
Ever since my Thin Line piece got published I’ve been feeling guilty about not telling you the whole story.
Raising A Family Is Still Hard As F*ck
I was tucking my son in last night, giving him kisses all over his face, when he says to me,