I went to visit a friend today. Here’s the thing, this friend and I had an epic falling out a few years ago. The blow was so detrimental to our friendship that I didn’t think we would ever recover.
I’m still not completely confident we will.
Thirty Years Of Friendship In A Nut Shell
We were inseparable from the ages of six and eight. We celebrated every birthday, holiday and, milestone together. Somehow we managed to include one another in everything we did. We saw each other through elementary school, puberty, high school, first jobs, first loves, breakups, car accidents, marriage, and motherhood. We’ve gulped gallons of beer together, made each other laugh until we cried and had a good thing going for a long time.
The only thing we hadn’t been through together was death.
I started to think about the people in my life and what it would be like to go to their funerals. These types of thoughts seem inevitable when you have a job like mine. My mind continued to wander through thirty years of memories with this particular friend. I was left feeling sad about leaving things the way they were. I decided to reach out.
Our communication has been touch-and-go for years. I’ll admit, I haven’t put the effort I used to into our friendship.
We both needed a break.
I can’t speak for her, but I know for damn sure I needed time to heal myself. I needed space to reflect on what I want out of life and who I want on that journey with me.
I spent the rest of my time trying to keep my ego in check.
I don’t have the energy to hang on to shitty things of the past anymore. I had to start letting go of what happened between us and why it hurt so much.
My ego wasn’t the only thing to blame. But I realized it was the only thing I truly had control over.
With my thirty-year friendship in mind, I came up with a list that has helped me to heal.